NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS FOR 2018

I just realised I didn't write resolutions for 2017. And that is fair enough because one does not need to write resolutions only for the turn of the year. I have plans for the new year and I thought I should pen my thoughts down to be clearer for my new goals, to visualise them and to crystalise them.

I also managed to find old resolutions posted on Fidgety Fingers Project. It would be interesting to refer to them and see how I can compare them to the new ones.

I found this earlier:

OF COURSE WE DO NOT NEED TO WAIT TILL THIS TIME OF THE YEAR TO WRITE OUR RESOLUTION BUT THIS IS TO REMIND OURSELVES WHAT WE HAVE BEEN DOING ALREADY AND TO CONTINUE DOING IT STRONG. 1. TO DOWNGRADE AND DOWNSIZE. WE HAVE WAY TOO MANY THINGS, WAY TOO MANY NONSENSE. WE HAVE TO DOWNGRADE MORE AND REMEMBER THAT WE ARE INSPIRED BY THE TINY HOUSE MOVEMENT. 2. TO CONTINUE COOKING AND LEARN NEW WAYS TO MAKE DELICIOUS AND QUICK MEALS. TO CONTINUE TO BRING OUR LUNCHES. 3. TO MAKE EVERYTHING WORTHWHILE. EVERYTHING NEEDS TO BE EFFICIENT. WE ONLY LIVE ONCE, WHY WASTE TIME ON THINGS AND PEOPLE WHO ARE NOT WORTH IT. 4. TO BLOG AGAIN, AND MORE. WE HAVE NEGLECTED THIS PART OF OUR LIVES. 5. TO EXPAND OUR SOCIAL CIRCLE IN THE WAY THAT IT DOES NOT COMPROMISE NO.3. NOT EVERYONE DESERVE OUR TIME AND EFFORT. 6. TO NOT BUY THINGS THAT WE DO NOT NEED. THINGS ARE MATERIAL AND WE CANNOT BRING IT WITH US ANYWHERE. ALWAYS FOCUS ON BUYING EXPERIENCE. 7. EAT AND DRINK HEALTHIER. WE ARE ALREADY DOING WELL, WE JUST HAVE TO DO IT MORE. 8. TO UNPLUG OURSELVES FROM 'WORK', AND UNDERSTAND THAT THERE IS LIFE BEYOND THAT AND THAT IS THE MOST IMPORTANT. 9. LIVE LIFE AND DO WHAT WE DEEM FIT. PEOPLE MIGHT TALK NOW, BUT THEY ONLY CARE BECAUSE OF POLITICS. A FEW WEEKS AND MONTHS DOWN THE ROAD, WHO CARES. 10. NEVER GIVE UP ON OURSELVES, BECAUSE, NO ONE ELSE WILL CARE MORE THAN WE DO.

#2016RESOLUTION

I don't think there is anything I would change. Everything is still work-in-progress. I guess the day I find myself writing them off my list would be the day I die. These are ways of life. My decluttering is working, although I had hoarded a bit of toiletries, perfumes, clothes and food ingredients from my travels. I need to finish them. Otherwise, my expenditure seems to have decreased and choices more focused. My investments have been more sound. My decision to quit my job to go on a hiatus has also made my lifestyle more streamline to my resolutions, there is a balance.

Anyway, here goes...

• To live more sustainably. I continue to refuse plastic bags when I can. I have stopped buying beauty products and I make my own. Not only I know what go into the concoctions, they are also environmentally friendly. 
• To cook sustainably. I cook most meals and bring lunchboxes to work, when I work. They save time and money and I know what goes into my consumption. However, cooking for oneself is troublesome somehow. I eat the same thing for days in a week. It is more often very boring. I have to learn to step back from the cooking ingredients too. Not like I am using 10 ingredients recipes, I improvise when I cook. However, there is still a way to incorporate sustainability and minimalism in this aspect.
• To understand minimalism. Ever since I started backpacking, I started to realise that I don't even use everything in my backpack. This is a good example of what my living space means. What do I really use? Of course I do not need to use some things everyday, but still it encourages some thought into what is taking space in my space. Oxygen is free, but I would rather more oxygen in my space than things.
• To consolidate. Time has never been more important to me than now. I am very conscious not to waste my time to the working machine. Bringing lunchboxes works. Focus works. Preparation in my mind during commute works. Organising errands and appointments back o back help to save time and money on commute. 
• To write more. I have neglected this blog and I need to start to write again. But I have realised that my interests have also changed and I need to focus and figure out what works for me now.
• To invest towards my retirement. No, I am not retired yet. This is a hiatus. It is time for me to breathe, to rejuvenate, to regain my fight, to focus on what is important. My expenditure has decreased due to my sustainable lifestyle. But I need to learn how to maximise my savings and the money I will be earning.
• To be more healthy and active. I don't like exercises, but I like to be active. I can walk for kilometres on end. So it is to find a balance in my daily activities that eliminates the exercise aspect. People go to gyms and they are inactive outside of it and would not even bother to walk a few blocks. I have my balance and I don't mind if people judge.

#2018RESOLUTIONS

STEPS TO BEATING JOBLESS DEPRESSION IN YOUR DAY

I quit my job months ago. I couldn't stand the company. It was full of untalented people running amok doing the job in the most inefficient way. It was weighing me down so much I had to get out. And quit I did before finding something else. Months down the road I still do not have anything remotely interesting on the plate. I have been traveling on and off, and I have been reading and writing and learning new skills. I am feeling awesome and I love how each day is slowing down and teaching me new things. My friend is unfortunately not feeling so well.

I catch up with T every now and then. T is married with a baby. The economy is slow and people like us are left jobless at the meantime. I am not worried as I have my reserves. I am sure T has his reserves too. After all, he is also in a marriage and he has his partner for income for now. T told me he has been feeling depressed because of the situation. He has let himself slide into the darkness and is unable to see the gift of time for now.

T is much older and there is only so much I can say and encourage. He is ok. But he is surprised by how positive I am with this hiatus. Our industry (advertising) is so stressful that we always work overtime and weekends when we do work. This hiatus is a blessing in disguise for me. I never had this luxury of time to do my own things, ponder, learn new things and indulge in my impromptu extended travels.

I believe everything happens for a reason, and we should see everything as a blessing even though it may seen dark. I want to share what I do everyday during this hiatus.

• Wake up naturally. I don't sleep well. I dream a lot and I sometimes wake up tired. My sleeps are always disturbed when I am stressed. So, reward yourself with rest. You are in no rush.
• Replenish your body in the morning. I don't drink coffee. It is usually a small glass of water in the morning, followed by my favourite herbal infusions. Depending on my mood, it could be chamomile, rooibos or something else. Why load your body with caffeine when you don't need it?
• Work out your day. I don't have plans unless I have errands to run or when I am traveling. Take time to do what you have always wanted to do. Go do the hike in the reservoir. Go to that restaurant not during the peak lunch hour. Go to the museums without the crowd. There are days I spend indulging in my tv series and movies. Yes, I do not go ape shit active everyday.
• Cook something. I love to cook. And I love going to the supermarket's produce bin to pick out reduced vegetables for my meals. If you are not earning, why not save a dollar or two cooking for yourself?
• Learn a new skill. I am a sucker for learning new skills. I have somewhat improved my bread making skills. I have learnt how to make noodles from scratch. I am going to make rice wine next. Oh, and of course this crazy one is learning how to forage.
• Read the titles you have neglected. I am not an avid reader. I find it difficult to read. It is a very intense activity for me, I visualise everything a read so I get tired quickly. This is the time to read and visualise as there is nothing else in your mind. I have read some good titles like 'The Time Keeper', 'The Lost Horizon'...etc. Don't pick nonsense to read. Read literature good for your soul.
• Travel, be it long or short distance. A lot of people want to save money when they are not working. I think this is a wrong move. You can curb your spendings. You will be surprise that I spend less when I am traveling in cheaper countries. When else will you get to spend a month somewhere? We usually have an average of 20 days of leave. There are also a lot of free things to do in your own city. And I am sure you have not explore every corner of your city too.
• Slow down. I was always rushing around when I was working. I needed to have my mobile phone or laptop next to me. I become a robot. Everything needed to be done as fast as possible just so that I can lay down for that couple of hours to relax before I retire to my stressful sleep. It is so important to slow down and be mindful. To appreciate everything you eat, breath or do.
• Back to nature. I don't get a lot of chances to be close to nature when I was working. Being overworked, I really only want to be indoors and near my bed over the weekend. This is the chance to breath in the fresh oxygen away from the city, and learn about a new plant or two.
• Add to your knowledge. I try to make sure I learn a new fact or two everyday. This does not only make you more knowledgable, you might even find a new hobby.
• Understand sustainability. It is the best time to learn about sustainability when you do not have income. You will be surprise how much more sustainable and resourceful you can be when you put yourself in the right mindset. Rearrange your wardrobe and discover new outfits, look into the depths of your drawers and you might just find some things you have forgotten.
• Re-access your finances. This is not something you should do on a daily basis. But it is definitely something you should have done way before. I have my reserves but it doesn't mean that they are working hard enough for me. Now that I have time to think about what I want my money to do for me, it is time to head to the bank for some adjustments. Do this and I promise you will not regret it. The interest can very well earn you a free lunch each month.

CHOOSE YOURSELF BY JAMES ALTUCHER

QUOTE OF THE DAY : THEY DIDN"T KNOW WE WERE SEEDS

HOW WOULD YOU SAY GOODBYE TO A PERSON YOU HAD AN APOCALYPSE WITH

We found this in one of our messy folders of mails received and as ambiguous as it is, it broke our hearts.

Here it goes:

I am on the plane now and as usual, it is taking a while to take off. This is an evening flight and I cannot wait for it to take off so I can order a beer on this budget airline. Somehow, I like the transaction. I pay for how much I drink. And then I remembered how much I have not travelled. What was the last time? I remember. So jaded from work travel. I like this ruggedness all of a sudden. Was always fancy.

The plane moved and I saw the lights and I was inhaling the fresh air in the cabin as supposed to the haze outside. I cried a little knowing my family and friends are not doing the same. And then before I know it, I flighted.

And then I wished the person who was sitting next to me was you. Only that he was a fili with his family. And how I wished when I was listening to my podcast that we had this dual earphone thingy that we would smile at each other and laugh and squeeze our hands so tight. All these, I missed with a person and it wasn't  until I have spoken to u that I think I could even be remotely possible.

Maybe it isn't you. Maybe it is me. Maybe all of a sudden my heart is open after five years. I don't know but why are you in this moment then? Either go away or stay. Simple. Don't text or text in a consistent manner.

I took some pictures after takeoff and nothing was clear. I frowned. Why was this happening? And supposedly I am going away to fix something in my life  is a secret to my family. And I have left them in the fumes. I whelmed up inside. With my work laptop on my feet. With my heart heavy leaving my team behind, what do I have for myself? I wonder. What am I living for?

And I think of you. And why you? I don't even know you. But you have been on my mind. Who are you? And wake up to see if you were the one who texted. But no. Why are you occupying my mind and I yearn to see ur name appear on my phone. And the crappiest of it all. I don't even know your full name. Yes I know your last name, not your middle. And you never appear.

Please say goodbye in a nice way and then we block each other. This is a bit ridiculous. It would make a lot of difference if u were here and also without the traveling lifestyle. I tried that myself. And saw someone who had that, failed terribly. And then I met you and we know nothing of each other.

AQUARIUSES, OUR BIRTHDAYS ARE HERE SOON. HOW TRUE HAVE YOU BEEN TO YOURSELVES?

VIRTUAL LOVE BY LANG LEAV

AQUARIUS : SO TRUE

WISDOM FROM FRANCIS MALLMANN IN CHEF'S TABLE

"My big draw in life since I was very young is believing only in myself and not letting myself be led by anybody. I want to be my own. I wanted to do whatever I wanted."

OUR FRIEND SAID SHE THOUGHT OF US WHEN SHE WATCHED THIS

What memories are made of.

I'll just go on
Thinking and forgetting
Turning and reaching
Loving and lying

A ROMANTIC STROLL

[11/7/2015, 12:17 AM] Sg:  Just sweet things like shoulders, head,...
[11/7/2015, 12:19 AM] Ale: Oh yes
[11/7/2015, 12:19 AM] Sg: That's cool.
[11/7/2015, 12:19 AM] Sg: Sometimes I like to take long walks
[11/7/2015, 12:20 AM] Sg: And when I come home at night. And and I walk with a shadow, I imagine it is someone (and in this case, let's say u)
[11/7/2015, 12:22 AM] Sg: And I walk in the dark with the street lamps and I see my shadows. I walk myself home and I imagine u walking next to me. And u walk with me home. And I would listen to my music or my podcast and sometimes I imagine holding ur hand in our shadows. And then I reach home. And it becomes sad. Because I don't see ur shadow in on the ground anymore
[11/7/2015, 12:23 AM] Sg: Oh ale. Don't freak out right. Just talking imaginary. Poetically. Not about u
[11/7/2015, 12:28 AM] Ale: I know!
[11/7/2015, 12:28 AM] Ale: That's beautiful 😊
[11/7/2015, 12:28 AM] Ale: And sad too
[11/7/2015, 12:29 AM] Sg: And then when u do leave
[11/7/2015, 12:30 AM] Sg: It is like my heart is going to fall out of my chest. And I have to hold my breathe so hard and put my hand on my chest
[11/7/2015, 12:31 AM] Ale: You should write something
[11/7/2015, 12:31 AM] Sg: As if to keep my heart in, from falling out. From the pieces from breaking and falling into pieces on the ground
[11/7/2015, 12:32 AM] Sg: I have to push it in. So hard that hopefully it would stay in. And I would lay down with at the pieces would stay in shape and hold its place as I pass out in the midst of drowning in tears
[11/7/2015, 12:32 AM] Sg: Yeah. I thought I could be some kind of heart break poet
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Ale: Definitely
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Ale: Wish I could
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Ale: But men are simple
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Sg: Tell me
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Ale: At least me 😒
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Sg: They r not romantic?
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Sg: Not yearning ?
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Sg: I don't know
[11/7/2015, 12:33 AM] Sg: I am a romantic. Even born on Valentine's Day
[11/7/2015, 12:34 AM] Sg: I am creative. Not like u. U r musical. I am artistic
[11/7/2015, 12:36 AM] Ale: I know
[11/7/2015, 12:36 AM] Ale: I mean me I don't have that
[11/7/2015, 12:36 AM] Ale: When I was in love maybe
[11/7/2015, 12:37 AM] Sg: But now, as I lay exhausted from the hamster wheel of a week. I imagine as if the person I am writing to as someone who would read this just to read this as pure words as I need to regurgitate.
[11/7/2015, 12:38 AM] Sg: That perhaps if u were him, whoever he is. I am exhausted and I wish as I am writing this, u were next to me. That u would put ur hand and ur fingers through my hair and massage my head and tell me that I am silly to be on the mobile.
[11/7/2015, 12:40 AM] Ale: Hah
[11/7/2015, 12:41 AM] Sg: And I would look up at u and smile and u would kiss my forehead and I would put my phone down. We would even contemplate watching a video but u would shut the laptop and put it on the floor and then light the aroma lamp and switch off all the lights. And come back to bed, hug me so tight and just keep stroking my hair and tell me about your day. And even better, what we would be doing over the weekend. What for breakfast and who would cook it
[11/7/2015, 12:44 AM] Sg: And we would fight Coz I don't like pancakes and I want to cook eggs. And there would be a pillow fight    Just too exhausting after a long week of work that I would give up and just hand you the pillow as you slap the pillow into my face. I fall onto the bed and just close my eyes. You pick my head up and place a pillow under and then your arm. And u hold me and we sleep. Me breathing into your neck just so u know I am breathing and alive next to u. And u holding me just so u keep me warm, and safe and then I would never go too far away from u
[11/7/2015, 12:44 AM] Ale: Did you have that before?
[11/7/2015, 12:44 AM] Sg: I imagine it
[11/7/2015, 12:45 AM] Sg: I had it close. Not that how I wrote it but one day. I am still optimistic I will find that person
[11/7/2015, 12:45 AM] Sg: I am not hoping for the sky. It is simple
[11/7/2015, 12:52 AM] Sg: And occasional, I would have a bad sleep. And I would cry in my sleep. And u would wake me. And I would sub consciously ask wtf what's going on. U would kiss me on my neck and face and hug me so tight and spoon me and say, nothing. It is ok now. Nothing happened. I am here. And we would fall back to sleep. With me being oblivious of the bad dream. And then waking up the next day, just opening my eyes slightly and seeing ur closed eyes next to me, even when I am slowly letting the light into my eyes. I see you. I close my eyes again just to check if I was dreaming. I open my eyes again and u are still there. I watch u for a while. And then I close my eyes and cuddle closer to u. U hug me tighter. I fall back to sleep together with u
[11/7/2015, 12:52 AM] Ale: I had that
[11/7/2015, 12:52 AM] Ale: Twice
[11/7/2015, 12:52 AM] Ale: Is the best
[11/7/2015, 12:53 AM] Sg: Yes.  I miss it
[11/7/2015, 12:53 AM] Ale: But after it was the worst
[11/7/2015, 12:53 AM] Sg: Doesn't happen often
[11/7/2015, 12:54 AM] Sg: I swear to myself. It will happen to me again. Another time. One last time.
[11/7/2015, 12:54 AM] Ale: Of course
[11/7/2015, 12:54 AM] Sg: But it is something I cannot force
[11/7/2015, 12:54 AM] Sg: This is chemistry
[11/7/2015, 12:54 AM] Ale: Always happen.. Someday
[11/7/2015, 12:54 AM] Sg: It seldom happen

HOW DOES WORK MAKE YOU FEEL?

Sometimes work makes us feel like the gif. Not a good sign. How are you feeling at work today?

NOT MANY PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO TREASURE HEARTS

I JUST WANNA MEET SOMEONE WHO WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF MY MOODY BEHAVIOR

Mick sent us this saying it reminded him of us. Yeah. Rock on. Sickening you, Mick!

THE STRAIN S02E12 QUOTE

She is lesbian, they had an affair together. Her lesbian lover is not dead. She got kidnapped by the vampires and he went to save her when they were about to kill her. She needs to make things work with her lesbian lover. But he loves her anyway. She said: "I don't make it easy for you do I?" And he said: "Good things don't come easy."

Heart break.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN 'I LIKE YOU' AND 'I LOVE YOU'

Once, we said 'I love you' to someone in the simplest way possible. The person awed us and we just exclaimed, 'Love you'. That didn't go down very well. We guess 'love' is a very taboo word for many. It means intimacy? Forever? Commitment? We stumbled upon the quote above today. And it cannot sum like and love up more than the analogy. And so what if we love you that we feel like caring for you. If you don't appreciate it, fine, we move on. 

OUR FAVOURITE BEAUTIFUL COUPLE, IF THERE WAS ANYTHING SUCH AS FOREVER

LITTLE BOY (THE MOVIE) : WITH FAITH, YOU CAN MOVE ANYTHING

We are watching this movie this morning of our long weekend and what a good choice. We thought it would be heavy but this is very heart warming for a rainy day and we definitely need the goodness in this film to lift us. With faith, you can move anything. Just believe.

INTO ANOTHER CHAPTER : MAY IT BE, FINALLY

That is exactly how we are feeling right now. It is the first day into the long weekend of public holidays and boy do we need it. We slept most of today. Considering the procedure we had yesterday, the last 1.5 months of melodrama and surrealism, the lack of sleep, the ups and downs, the stress from work, the more unnecessary stress from work, the supernatural encounters, the hormones, the tears and the laughters, the everything. How did all that happen in a short span of time? We are tired. We finally gave into the fatigue today. It was a whole lot of snoozing, dozing off in the middle of movies and videos, drifting off into the monotony of monologues and dialogues.

Finally. Rest. We have not been able to sleep for weeks. Surviving on mere hours of sleep and adrenalin and dopamine and whatever else we were feeling was taking a toll on our spirits. We think something was weighing down on us. Sometimes us human are such complex creatures that our minds play games with us, being oblivious to what is so painfully obvious and yet our subconscious fight it and thus the toll.

Let's not even discount the supernatural events around us. Scary and shocking as some of them may be, the fatigue just led us into oblivion. Come what may, knock on doors, activate electronics, call random people on our phones, we are tired. Just do whatever you want. The painful part isn't even about those event that happened, it is that the person we wanted to believe all these is skeptical. Possibly insinuating we are lying. The communication is broken. No more. Doesn't even matter any more. We have lost him. A person, a friend, a dear person, who shall probably never enter our lives again.

It is funny how sometimes we can trust some people so easily and some people not. How in an instant, we could be vulnerable and naked in soul to some people, that they see everything of us, and yet we put a front, a strong front in front of some people. And then you feel so broken because you let that person in and that person isn't worth it after all. All your insecurities, dreams, ideals, fears, exposed. That person knows your kryptonite. And this is dangerous. And now we have to change our kryptonite to protect ourselves.

It is funny how chemistry works, or how the whole universe works. What happened? Was it the stars and planets? Did we meet when some things were aligned? So tired. So exhausted. So do not want to continue feeling this way. Tragic, star crossed, period.

HEARTBREAKING QUOTE WE FOUND

HER: I wish I could hug you now.
HIM: Me too, and then I'll bring you to brunch somewhere.
HER: OK. Sure. And then I wanna hold your hand and have a long walk by the sea or river. To walk off the brunch. And occasionally stop you to kiss bomb you.
HIM: Mmm
HER: Or ask you to look somewhere else and plant a kiss on your lips. To have you window shop and hug you from behind. Wanna share an ice cream cone with you and fight over the flavours and kiss you with your favourite flavour on my lips. Wanna laugh over the silliest things and fight over the stupidest thing and walk away from you to have you run after me and give me the biggest hug from behind. And then kiss because we are just that stupid. Wanna go to the market with you to pick random ingredients to then decide that we are not even sure what to cook with them. Wanna see you cook your stuff and then for you to realise it isn't tasty and laugh about it. Wanna cook delicious stuff for you and stuff the fridge with goodies that we cook so you will not be hungry and wonder what to get from outside. I wanna do a million things with you. I could die a million times for all the apocalypses to happen just to experience those things with you.

And then she waits and there is no reply.